Liking praise is not unusual. When our work is appreciated, the mind feels lighter, energy increases, and motivation to perform better grows. For this reason, praise is a natural part of human behavior. A large number of people seek appreciation. No matter how small or big the work, there are people everywhere who hunger for praise.
At present, the Rastriya Swatantra Party (RSP) and its leaders are receiving widespread praise. Media outlets are full of admiration, along with unsolicited advice on how the country should be governed. It is yet to be seen how a party that has unexpectedly received such public support will move forward. For now, they should be allowed to proceed with their own plans. Whether people previously knew them or not is secondary. Amid deep frustration, their election symbol became a “new option” for voters. When citizens speak through the ballot, no party can reject that voice. This mandate reflects anger, disappointment, and a lesson directed at previously dominant forces.
A party that has gained more support than expected is not a newly planted seed imported from elsewhere. It is a new current emerging from within the same society. It resembles the Congress, UML, Maoists, Rastriya Prajatantra Party, and Madhes-based parties in many ways. Its leaders may have come from those same parties. Its supporters may also be their ideological descendants. The new has been given a chance because the old failed. Those who now have the opportunity must have their own approach, and they will likely move forward by addressing public dissatisfaction in their own way.
We have seen the past—how, after the Nepal People’s revolution II (061-62), major parties rose and governed. We know what they did, what they failed to do, and what they should have done. They received praise, and they benefited from it. In party politics, loyalists excel at praising leaders and quickly reaping the benefits.
Even more concerning is how academic sectors have sunk into political alignment. It is alarming to see capable individuals abandoning self-confidence in favor of flattery for opportunities. Those in positions of power also seem hungry for praise. When interests align, it is not surprising—but the gradual degradation of society is deeply worrying.
This trend can be observed across civil service, judiciary, healthcare institutions, and even the private sector. Those who worship power have always managed to serve their own interests regardless of who holds authority. But this is not merely a political analysis—it is about praise, and the hunger for it.
Praise is necessary. It should be given. But it must be balanced and genuine. Excessive praise often carries hidden interests. Why hesitate to understand that? And why should those receiving it feel uncomfortable acknowledging it? Genuine praise energizes good work.
However, when this natural desire becomes imbalanced, it can distort not just individuals but also society and governance. Psychology recognizes the importance of praise—but only in moderation.
In 1943, American psychologist Abraham Maslow introduced the Hierarchy of Needs. According to him, after basic needs, esteem needs—respect and recognition—are crucial. People want to feel competent, useful, and valued. This desire motivates growth and achievement. In his work A Theory of Human Motivation, he wrote, “What a man can be, he must be.” This is what he called self-actualization.
Maslow emphasized that everyone needs recognition. But when this need becomes excessive, it can lead to arrogance or insecurity. Overreliance on praise becomes a barrier to growth.
Liking praise is normal—it is not a disorder. It is tied to the natural human need for acceptance and validation. When praised, the brain’s reward system is activated, creating positive feelings. However, when the need becomes excessive—when one constantly seeks validation, cannot tolerate criticism, and sees oneself as superior—it can develop into narcissistic traits, and in extreme cases, Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Healthy self-esteem allows appreciation without dependence. Excessive craving for praise often signals insecurity or ego imbalance.
American psychologist Carl Rogers, a key figure in humanistic psychology, developed the concept of client-centered therapy. He emphasized self-acceptance and unconditional positive regard in his book On Becoming a Person. He famously stated, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
According to Rogers, true mental health comes from self-acceptance rather than dependence on external praise. Those lacking this inner stability tend to seek excessive validation.
This pattern is evident in our society. Consider annual awards—often, recipients are already connected to the awarding institutions. Praise becomes a tool for building relationships and securing benefits.
Take a simple example: a student fails an exam. If they think, “I am useless,” they become discouraged. But if they think, “I failed, but I can improve,” they grow. This is self-acceptance. When a teacher says, “You failed, but you are capable,” that is positive regard. Such an environment builds inner strength and reduces dependence on praise.
However, excessive desire for praise can lead to psychological distortion. Individuals may overestimate themselves, reject criticism, and rely entirely on external validation. This can damage relationships, impair judgment, and detach them from reality.
Narcissistic individuals often display exaggerated self-importance, lack empathy, and manipulate others for personal gain. Beneath this outward confidence lies deep insecurity. Even minor criticism can destabilize them, leading to fragile and unstable relationships.
Heinz Kohut, founder of self psychology, described narcissism as a condition where a fragile self depends heavily on external validation. In his 1971 book The Analysis of the Self, he explained that such individuals appear confident but possess a weak inner structure.
The use of praise as a tool for personal gain is a subtle but serious problem. It prioritizes flattery over merit. Capable individuals are sidelined, while opportunists thrive. In governance, this weakens policy-making and implementation. Socially, it promotes artificial image-building and unhealthy competition, eroding institutional trust.
In our society, there is a tendency to favor “our people” over “good people.” Praise builds proximity and influence, and those who understand this exploit it effectively.
So, is praise motivation or dependency?
When balanced, it motivates. A student praised for good results works harder. An employee recognized for good work gains confidence. But when praise becomes the goal, problems arise. People focus more on being praised than on doing meaningful work.
This is increasingly visible on social media, where self-worth is measured through likes and shares. Image has begun to outweigh substance.
The relationship between power and praise is also significant. Power seeks validation. Leaders often prefer admiration over honest evaluation. This creates a culture of blind loyalty, where truth disappears and decision-making weakens.
When praise replaces accountability, governance becomes superficial. Policies prioritize image over impact. Leaders become self-satisfied, ignoring the need for improvement.
This pattern is evident in Nepal as well, where connections and flattery often outweigh merit. Such a system gradually weakens institutions from within.
When praise dominates, criticism disappears. Without criticism, there is no improvement. In organizations where leaders are never questioned, even flawed decisions go unchallenged, weakening long-term effectiveness.
The absence of criticism leads to stagnation, corruption, and misuse of power. It encourages complacency and false confidence. Ultimately, it erodes trust and credibility.
Praise-driven environments distance leaders from reality. They create illusions of success while underlying systems deteriorate. The consequences are borne by the public.
This does not mean praise is bad. It is essential—but only when balanced. Genuine recognition should replace flattery. Constructive criticism must coexist with appreciation.
At the individual level, emotionally healthy people value praise but do not depend on it. They learn from criticism and strive for continuous improvement.
This balance fosters maturity, resilience, and sound judgment. It strengthens relationships and enhances productivity in professional settings.
A healthy society is not one that craves praise, but one that values fairness. When merit-based evaluation becomes the norm, blind admiration fades naturally. Power must learn to accept criticism as an opportunity for growth.
Education, media, and social behavior must promote this culture. Praise is important—but it is not greater than truth.
Ultimately, the foundation of change lies in individual awareness. When people cultivate self-reflection, society evolves. Transparency, accountability, and open dialogue must be prioritized.
In the long run, such a culture strengthens not only individuals but entire systems. An informed citizenry balances power and weakens harmful practices.
Change must begin from within. Only then can we build a just, resilient, and progressive society.
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'प्रशंसाको भोक' को अंग्रेजी अनुवाद
